LOVE'S SALVE

The source is infinite.

I'm breathing that in,

right now, 

are you?

This open field,

it takes me over,

like a fragrance

of the divine

infusing my cells.

I surrender

to the vastness,

and apply love's salve

to all my hurts, aches, 

and needs.

Apply it anywhere,

and watch it do 

its magic.

UNRAVELED

Under the new crescent moon

and mid summer sun,

the rose petals are wide,

unraveled.

They even curl inside out,

and slightly backbend

around their spiny stem,

giving their everything.

Petals, 

like limbs,

danced open 

in their yielding,

to our star's light, 

and heat.

But soon,

in their disheveled state,

they will fall,

fully spent.

It's strange.

I don't yearn for their demise,

even though

it's as much a part of life,

as their initial blossoming.

MAGICAL MEANDERING

A magical meandering
along the creek stones,
as algae flowed like wigs
in the gently moving pools.

STARBEAMS

The cage that 

held my heart 

disintegrated.

Poof!

Vanished from 

one moment 

to the next.

A cosmic star 

burst open 

from within me and 

obliterated it.

Starlight filled 

my every cell 

with love.

All my love 

merged into a vast 

field of resonance.

Then I saw starbeams 

lighting the universe.

LOVE’S CONUNDRUM

Life's Infinite Gift

I became a devotee to a wise teacher. My guru, and maybe yours, is love. Love provides infinite gifts to live by and learn by, day-to-day, moment-to-moment. 

The more love there is, the more places, and sometimes dark and scary places, that seek love’s embrace. This isn’t an easy path, yet freedom and aliveness stems from this intricate weaving between the “me” and the “we” and can only be received when one surrenders fully to love.

Let’s start at the beginning. I love me. 

Loving me enlivens me, and is free and wildly creative. I feel ecstasy in my radical communion with life itself! Here I am, on an adventure of a lifetime, in the present, as it arises. Love bleeds and sweats from my every word, from every step in the dance of my day. Everything I touch is magic, every moment, an expression of my most sincere and central core. Even in grief and despair, I feel utterly expanded in the joy of life.

Loving myself is easy, especially when I don’t have a lover. I flow through my days with a connection to my heart and it’s simple. So, being that love is my teacher, love adds a complication. 

The radiance that shines from the embodiment of my heart inevitably attracts a Beloved man. This perfect invitation for a divine and delicious dive shows up in my life when I least expect it. It’s undoubtedly sent by spirit. 

Our lives begin to intertwine organically. My lover offers his unobstructed heart, standing tall and solid, desiring all of me, as is. He meets me and sees me, embracing each nuance with respect, with reverence, with love and with total devotion. He is emotionally intelligent, he’s beautiful, and has the soul of a spiritual warrior. He says, “I am here, I love you.” 

My heart simultaneously leaps, swells and melts in response to this man. I say yes to the invitation, but I’m scared. There is a part of me that feels apprehensive about this. I am afraid to lose myself. I am afraid to lose the love I already feel and have. I am afraid to open to the unknown. I had just solidified self-loving ground. 

Yet, the draw to the intimacy, the connection, and to be met and seen is so rich, so promising, and so inviting. So, I seek advice from my teacher (it’s love, remember?). We agree. 

I must let yesterday’s version of love die, to discover what love wants to live through me today. 

This is what I call love’s conundrum. Just when you think you have love figured out, love shows up and asks to be embraced in a new way.

So, in order to preserve the aliveness I so enjoy, I must let go of the grip of yesterday. I must open to what arises with freshness rather than attachment. In the not knowing, in the lack of resolution, in the openness – exist infinite gifts. 

I let go and embrace my lover, not in half contraction, not it fear, not with halfway, but completely, as a conscious choice to meet love, yet again, in this moment, in this form.

I invite my sweetheart in, deep. Our hearts are wide open, soul-gazing, making love in our laughter and tears… our rhythms meet each other at the confluence. Sharing our love is now what is so freeing and wildly creative! I don’t hold back and let the current of the river of “us” to take me in love’s embrace, a love larger than my own, it flows with the power and strength of both our streams merged into one. We make beauty together.

But love has more in store for me. The light of shared love unfurls into my most broken places, painfully revealing where I most need a loving embrace. So like a nurturing mama, I welcome them in, as they are, one-by-one, as they show up.

The hardest of all, so far, is how to come home to myself after merging in the sea of love with my Beloved. It hurts. I want to hold on to the delectable moment and stay adrift together on the gentle and warm waves forever. 

In meeting this too, with love, I remember and return again to letting go of my sometimes white-knuckled grip, and let love define the moment. Aahhh. I don’t have to “do” or “be” anything. Love’s got this. I can surrender my heart. Love is infinite, and the more I can let go and let it live through me, the more I can embrace what is arising in the moment. 

Love is teaching me to love me, while I love another; and to love another, while I love me. I’m dancing the sacred rhythms, each day, allowing love to dictate the script. 

Thank you Guru, thank you Love. 

ROSE OF THE WINDS

A restless urge

draws me beyond the precipice,

out of control.

Tears must fall

from the portholes of my soul,

cleansing the diamond core of my heart.

Mourning and midnight,

laughter and sobs…

they surge with reckless abandon

crystalizing my native element into form.

There! My inner compass revealed!

Are you dazzled by the brilliance?

Refined yet uncut,

transparent and flawless,

unpolished, yet so precious.

Rose of the winds,

I surrender to you, mistress.

You usher me, always,

to the zenith of resonance. 

INTO THE FIELDS AT DUSK

Neatly, I packed a suitcase with my complete anthology of masks.
The impressive (and heavy) collection is quite famous, and
can be seen around the world.

I, too, have often displayed the famed faces.

The body of work included things you may recognize:
the fearless one, the stoic one, the composed one, the strong one.

Ah, and don’t forget the most revered; the invulnerable one.

But composure’s life expectancy ran it’s course,
and life requested something fresh, original and edgy.

The soul of the world wanted what is true.

I left the suitcase behind,
stepping into another world, another life.

How light I walk without it.

Leaving the disguises,
I was drawn into the fields at dusk,
lit only by fireflies and distant cooking fires,
crackling with the rhythms of ancient dances.

I didn’t realize (or miss!) the weight missing from my arm.

I felt only the rapture of the evening breeze
and my now bared face, with nothing to obscure it,
could finally absorb the light of the milky way
when it curled around the horizon.

THE ARROWS OF MY SOUL

I am cleansing

my field of debris,

and my rattling bones

structured from fear.

Those bones,

built of a mineral matrix

with someone else’s signature…

I will rebuild them,

after I’ve flushed the
cells of my memories.

My mind,

it likes to tell stories,

even if they were written

in the attic of old.

Does your mind do that?

And does your heart remember,

like mine does,

an ancient thread of love

that ties and binds us

to that which is purely true?

That invisible knowing,

it arises from the infinite,

seemingly empty space

contained within my womb, and

from the center of my belly.

I feel what hits the target,

or misses it.

I want to clear the field

so I can shoot the arrows of my soul

with no obstructions,

and hit the center, every time.

Bullseye. 

A LOVE SO ANCIENT

Oh lover, 

as I gaze upon your soul,

I see your eyes

like clear reflections 

of my heart.

Oh lover,

as I touch upon your words,

I hear your voice

like an echo

of my bird song.

Oh great mystery,

from the stars and the moon,

I beam a love so ancient, 

so true,

this lover of mine,

thank you, thank you!

TAKE OFF YOUR ARMOR

I wish you’d take off your armor. 

It’s so sad to see your power, 

caged by a web of stories. 

You could weave a masterpiece 

with your brilliance, 

but the light is so thickly 

encased in rubble 

that it needs a revolution to 

tear down the stones.

I see it in there, 

shining inside you, 

your heart... 

it beams the same radiance 

of the universe.

You live in fear and shame, 

but the stories that bind you, 

they don’t mean your heart is 

void of love. 

Breathe a sigh of relief, 

YOU are as full of love as anyone! 

Just peel back the casket and 

let your heart pour through you, 

as it wants to, 

as it was designed to. 

Your heart, it wants to 

bleed from your pores,
waft from your tears, 

emanate from your words, and 

exhale from your touch. 

Your heart wants to
be the guru of your life.

It is your best protector, 

much better than the armor you wear, 

so try your heart on, and then 

take a look in the mirror. 

You may suddenly

flood with emotion, 

with grief for a life lost, 

joy for a life gained, 

tears of overwhelming beauty 

falling from the soul 

behind your own, open eyes.

FIELD OF DARKNESS

When the Beloved arrives,
tools ready in hand,
heart open,
meeting me in the
field of darkness.

Then the shadow of dawn arrives.

That first light is an
exquisite relief after
strolling alone in the night.

I love those lonely walks,
they reveal my yearning.